Last night, my roommate and I had a conversation about religion, God, demons, angels, the Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ – you get the drift. I will admit that I’m not a very religious person. I believe in God, but I don’t like how my religion practices everything – like how they hate gay people, how they take the Bible word per word, etc. (For the record, I’m straight). But last night, I was freaked out, scared, afraid.
So let me start it this way,
My friend was Catholic and converted to Born Again. During her Born Again phase, a burden she has been carrying for a long while was lifted off her shoulders. She became happier and her face does not seem downcast anymore. There were visual proof and people need only believe. I will not state the details as this is still a private matter, but after the burden was lifted off, there are remnants. For a week, these remnants of her burden has not let her sleep. She couldn’t cope with these remnants and eventually sought help. She soon converted back to Catholicism. She says there are really some things that only Catholicism can provide. These remnants were solved by prayer, specifically the Hail Mary. She then became a devotee of the Lady of the Guadalupe.
There was a point when she decided she wanted to enter the convent. She had been going to the convent and practicing with the nuns. She used to pray three hours a day and this does not include her meditative hours. She says that nuns have different groups – there are the missionary nuns, cloistered nuns, and others. She wanted to become a cloistered nun. She says that cloistered nuns pray for other people, sometimes they pray for 3 hours just for one person, depending on the need of the person to be saved. It would sound like bull, has it not been for my roommate’s dedication to God and the Virgin Mary. I wouldn’t have believed her if she didn’t recount all her experiences in the convent.
She told me of one of her friends who can see his/her guardian angel and others’ as well. Her particular friend can also see the aura of the people. The friend told her that during the mass, if you concentrate real hard, and feel the essence of the mass, you will see your guardian angel walking towards the altar during the offertory. Those guardian angels of humans who were intently listening and participating in the mass carry something towards the altar, and would be in front of the line. However, those guardian angels of humans who weren’t participating in the mass would be at the back of the line carrying nothing and weeping. Thus, that was why during mass, she would be so intent and absorbed in the Eucharistic event. She says that you will not be able to disturb her as that is very important to her. This comes from a girl who cannot keep quiet – literally. Quick addition, her friend says that the gift to see angels is not only limited to angels. Her friend can also see the counterpart of a person’s guardian angel, those from the other side.
What freaked me out from the conversation the most was when she started talking about the gifts. In the convent, she says that everyone has a designation – cloistered nuns become cloistered nuns for a reason, and same goes with missionary nuns etc. She says it’s determined on your gift and your spiritual need. Gifts vary – from clairvoyance, prophecy, seeing angels etc. She asked me what my gift was. I told her that I do not know. She asked me to reflect on it. After several minutes, I had an inclination but I wasn’t sure. I still refused to tell her, and we still talked about other related stuff. I get in bed and she says, “I’m really curious to what your gift is.” I gave in, and told her that I’m not sure but it might be. I told her of many instances and she looked at me and asked if I can do what I do to myself. I said no. I asked her if what I had been experiencing she also experiences. She says no. All this time I thought what I had been going through was normal and happens to everyone. Apparently it doesn’t. I also told her that’s why I have to keep quiet most of the time. She says, “so that’s the mystery behind why you don’t talk much.” To be honest, I’ve never told anyone of that.
I’m still freaked out, and last night I was scared. Before, when I thought it was normal, I had been cautious and I always had to stop myself. But now, I fear that it’s more dangerous and I feel somewhat responsible.
Last night, when I prayed to God before I slept, I felt fear. It was one of the longest and intimate prayers I have had in months.
I wouldn’t have believed her but I know her quite well to realize she’s not lying or making things up. I find it hard to believe people, and believing her means that something there struck a chord. I wouldn’t have believed her if I had not realized that such things could happen. Some things, they are just better when told through personal experience rather than the media presenting it in a nice wrapper with a pretty bow. Some things, they are just better without the frills and the laces.
I wouldn’t know if you believe me, and I wouldn’t want to force that to anyone. However, to all those who have reached until this part of my entry, I encourage you to find what your gift is. Your gift is something unique, it’s something not all people can do. It’s something innate in you and it will call out to you. It is inside of you, living. Acknowledge it for it to be put into good. My friend says that your gift can be used for the good and the bad. Do not let your gift be used to forsake people, to wreak havoc, to be a tool for evil. Some are better in meditation because they have that gift. My friend’s is like that. She can see things during meditation but she acknowledges guidance. I know that I’m not a very religious person, I wouldn’t call myself religious. But I do believe in some things, and some things are just too real and true to ignore.