The Play of Emotions

Have you ever noticed how one bad thing can ruin a really good day just like *snaps fingers* that? I had been thinking of how I actually had a somewhat okay day yesterday – no frills, no sadness. I went to play badminton with some of the newly found friends I met, and we had a good exercise. We went for dinner at a grill house just outside the court. The food was even good. And then, later on that night, I went to sleep in a fetus position, hugging my white seal stuff toy, with my hotdog pillow behind me. Why? Just because I couldn’t print out my completed DS-160 application and I bought the wrong ink for my printer which I forgot about and I’m past a day of the 7 days allowance for an exchange. The inks cost a lot (around 48 USD).

I was pretty pissed off the whole night until I got tired and decided to curl into a ball and mope which sucks. I clearly blame PMS.

I would also like to think that everything has just a way of balancing itself – such as how you were in bliss for a period of a week and then everything will just come crashing down on you for a month. Or you’re just happy for probably three months and then you found out something which crushes your happiness and you run off and walk the length of a highway in the dead middle of the night, discerning if you should go back home which is two to three hours away or sleep on this bench where you spend an hour after walking, holding back your tears. Or you just suddenly realized you’re actually in love for the first time and then three months after you find out he was never actually in love with you and all that he said was a consolation of some sort to spare your feelings just for a little while.

It took six months to fall in love with him. It took six months to burn the bridge, at least partly. It took two months to try and reconnect, and somehow it failed. It took him two months after that to ask if I was still alive. It took him two weeks to burn the bridge again. It took two more months for me to set fire to the whole of the bridge and pretend it never existed, and somehow hoping that in another reality, it never did.

It took a year and two months to not hurt again. It took six months to build a sturdy wall. The cycle may just happen again but you won’t expect it’ll be soon because you built a wall strong enough that the Hulk can’t even smash it.

Don’t you just hate how emotions can be rolled and rolled around, unpredictable and unstoppable?

UPDATE: Office Warehouse allowed my items to be exchanged!!! They’re awesome. 🙂

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