There are times when I actually regret that I had fallen in love the first time and it had ended how it ended. I remembered the person I was before it happened – innocent and trusting. I remembered how unassuming I was that he already liked me, how I tried to avoid liking him because I thought he didn’t like me. I remembered him saying he liked me because I was young and innocent.
Now it’s all gone.
Most of the time I wish I was still innocent so I can still look at people with trust, or at most, not be so jaded about love. It’s not that I am cursing love at all… what worries me more is that, right now, I’m actually choosing to forget about it because I knew how much it hurt. I do agree and appreciate people in love. I am happy for them. I just don’t know how I would be able to fall in love the next time. I don’t have that much wonder about it anymore, nor do I trust it that much.
I remember that person I fell in love with tell me that love is overrated. I don’t think it is at all. I think it is just what they say it is. It’s beautiful, and unfortunately some people don’t deserve it. However, once I have forgotten about this, I might also become an empty shell of a person, with no love to share or feel at all. And that is the scariest of all.