I have started packing my stuff. I haven’t packed my clothes yet but my books, shoes, bags and sunglasses are already in the box. Just four days left and I’ll be boarding a plane to Taipei, then from Taipei to San Francisco.
I’m probably more sad than worried in leaving and living in a new place. For one, I’m not even sure if I should stay with my relatives or just rent a room with someone. I’m not sure if my relatives would want me to live with them, or if it’s okay. On the other hand, I’m also sad because I will be leaving a great country, won’t see it for a year, and I’m also leaving all of the amazing people I dearly love here.
I have been meeting up with friends left and right, and it’s been amazing. I guess you never really truly appreciate people until you realize they’re going to leave for a while, or for a long time. On the other hand, I’ll actually feel how it is to leave people who love you. I realized as I was listening to John Denver’s Leaving on a Jet Plane (that song is pretty much stuck in my head right now), that I will actually feel how it is to leave people, and all this time, it feels a lot like I’m always the one being left and now that it’s my turn, it feels suddenly new. I mean, I never really left anyone I love before unless I had to – like it would be for our own good, or cheated on me, or betrayed me. Now that I’m about to do it, should I feel excited? The thing is, I guess in this case, I will always know that I have people to go back to. It’s not like I’m leaving them for good. I’m actually very grateful that I am loved by all these people.
By the way, John Denver’s Leaving on a Jet Plane is amazing. I mean, it got through me. Or I’m just being emotional.