Monthly Archives: April 2014

Contemplation

Being unemployed gave me a lot of time to think… and contemplate about a lot of things. I realized I have been so proud and I thought I could do anything. However, I was not employed in 3 seconds. I have been underqualified, overqualified, “can’t be afforded” and all kinds of misfits into a job. I have asked God again and again why I cannot get a job, and I started wondering what I will do with my life.

Before, when an interviewer would ask me what I want to do or be in the future, I’d tell them I want to be a C-executive. The last two weeks I’ve realized that I wanted something more. I wanted to still be able to do things that I love doing – like traveling – even though I have a job. I want to not be limited working just a job. I want something more. I want to shake things up, change the way those around me think. Change the politics, change processes. I want to change the game. It’s a big dream, I know. I don’t know how I will do it but I am hoping I will have the opportunity to. Right now, just take one step at a time.

Yesterday, I accepted an offer from an IT service company. My head reeled around the possibilities of what I could do with what I will be earning. I have made myself a budget. In the end, I planned to allocate a part of my salary to sponsor a child’s education through a foundation.

I’m not earning a large amount of money. I just felt that I should give back, and not go back to that proud person that I was.

Clutter of Thoughts

I have been thinking of the amazing ability of humans to hold so much information – sights, memories, thoughts, facts, etc. To be honest, sometimes I wish I have an eidetic memory so it’s innate in my brain to remember stuff, and probably, just probably, it’ll be much easier for me to order my thoughts.

Anyway, what news… I’ve moved back to my country and have started looking for a job. It is depressing because it seems as if the companies here do not value talent or potential. It’s as if they want robots with no ambitions. It’s sad. Sometimes I don’t feel like telling interviewers what I want for the future. Maybe they get scared I’ll get their jobs within five years. LOL *I’mjustbeingsarcasticandbitterdon’tmindme*

I have also noticed that almost all the basic goods here like food, have already increased prices *inflation* however, salaries have not. I have been to an interview which proposed that I only get a base salary of Php 11,000-14,000. A salary loads lower than my first job. Things like these are disheartening. Harsh truth is, companies here are exploiting people to do work at such low rate. Filipinos do a very good job but they become complacent because with shitty salaries for years, what will drive them to succeed?

Even more, I am infuriated because almost the higher salaries for people like me are in the government – and I don’t want to go back in the government. From my experience, government employees are not even being paid for their skills. It’s like they just put their foot down and grew roots in their positions – doesn’t matter if they cannot do their job well as long as they have the CSC to protect their asses from being fired. I’m ranting again.

Moving on, I should really stop procrastinating and arrange my cluttered thoughts.